Are You Geared Up? Yes Of Course?

Basically, people that have normal phones just go around dropping things all the time. I have a normal phone and it's sort of like being the antagonist character in a Disney Channel show. Every time I'm about to get the girl some sort of slapstick thing happens because I haven't got the right gear and I end up going home alone with a scowl on my face. I can never buy wine because it just doesn't work because of my phone.

This guy, on the other hand, is like fucking Batman. He can pretty much do whatever he wants because of this thing. He followed the lady all the way down the slope, took 64 pictures of her on his watch, and she didn't even mind! I'll have what he's having!

Newsflash lame-os, if you haven't got the right gear, you can forget about doing cool stuff like this when you're out with hot babes:

He can just leave it right there on the balcony, and he doesn't have to worry about somebody stealing it or knocking it over onto the ice cold snowy ski slopes below because he's geared the fuck up.

Nice work, Derren Brown.

In real life guys like this don't sleep with hot blonde European girls. In real life guys like this are overly-confident nerds. 

"Check out my phone watch, give me your number."
"No thanks, this other guy seems nicer and more fun. I think I'm going to hang out with him tonight because he seems more likely to fuck me properly. I think that's why he has a regular phone."

"Ok but I'm going to take a lot of pictures of you while you go down this slope."
"Please don't do that."
"Ok, I'm going to anyway."
"Please don't."
"Ok fine, I will. Go on, off you go, I'll be at the bar later with these pictures. I'm going to get us some wine and I won't drop it because if somebody rings me I can answer with my watch. I'm going to provide music for us on my watch-phone combo because most bars don't play music."
"Please don't come to the bar later."
"I'm going to. Have you seen my phone? It's also a watch, Ha!"
"I'm going now. Please don't follow me or I will tell the people at the lodge."
"You can tell them whatever you like, I have a watch that is also a phone. They are never going to believe you."